. . .Sergei.
As easily deduced from his snazzy trench coat and shades, he’s a spy. He’s originally from D.C. (actually Russia first, then D.C.), but now he lives on my refrigerator. He likes it there. I like him there. If my house was infiltrated by KBG agents (as a former KBG agent himself, he’d recognized them all), Sergei would warn me, and possibly even tip off the FBI. Because he’s cool like that. Cooler than James Bond, even.
Why is he Russian, you ask? Well. . .look at him. Doesn’t he look like a Russian spy?
До свидания! (Da sveedaneeya) from the Tale-Weaver.
(That’s “good-bye”, in Sergei’s native language.)